A year ago I set a goal to publish once a week. How hard could that be? To sit down and write for 20 or 30 minutes.
Well my life was interrupted and I have not published weekly.
My dad turned 92 years of age on March 17th and shortly after he decided to join my mom and passed March 30th.
This is not a post seeking sympathy. He had a good life and was ready to transition. He was the last of his generation.
He was the patriarch of our family.
That baton is now passed to my older cousins
His death has brought our families together at least for the short time. I am grateful for their support and for sharing their memories of my dad.
My loved one with dementia is my younger sister.
She still has her long term memory.
We reminisced about Easter holidays at our grandparents’ home and the Easter Egg hunts with the cousins.
Her memory is much more detailed visually. My memories are the feelings.
She never asked about our dad’s declining health. She barely reacted to the news of his death.
That is the disease.
But bring up our early history and it is a joy to hear her talk with enthusiasm.
So I may not be able to seek comfort from my sister for the loss of our dad. However, I am comforted by the memories she still has.
In a way, that is a gift for her and for me. We are remembering the vibrant man our dad was.
Dementia has taken so much away from her.
I am grateful she is not grieving.
I will do the grieving for her.
She can help me remember the wonderful memories that help me feel good.
Does you loved one with dementia have long term memories? You both may find comfort in them.