I have been thinking about time a lot recently. I have been silent for these many months because I have been taking care of family health issues. The past 6 months were focused on my mother’s hospice care and my sister’s health needs. My mom died March 16th and I had the honor of being there with my husband when she took her last breath. I miss her and plan to honor her on Mother’s Day by making one of her recipes that the family enjoyed (pot roast). Given the local weather has gone cold again, comfort food is called for as well as comfort from memories of my mom.
With work and my family’s health challenges, there does not seem to be enough time. The engineer in me went to Wiki to read about “time”. I took too much time to read. Before I knew it a half hour of precious time went by. And it did not help me.
So where am I going with this? I have 24 hours in a day and a portion of that is needed for sleep. So that leaves 16-17 hours for me to “cram” my tasks into. Why do I feel it is necessary to “cram” them into one day? I see two major reasons; the tasks exceed time remaining and I do not make a practice of asking for help.
Sure, I can spend less time sleeping but eventually I find myself making mistakes and taking longer to complete a task than when I am well rested. In the back of my mind, there is a voice telling me to ask for help but I ignore it. Rather, I prioritize, defer and delete, but can’t seem to “delegate” or “ask for help”.
Why is it so hard to “ask for help”?
It feels good when friends and family ask for my help, yet I am reluctant to do likewise. My perfectionism, “no one can do it the way it needs to be done and how I would do it” gets in the way. And “it will take me longer to instruct or explain my needs”. Do I really know the only and best way to do something? Is it correct for me to assume someone can’t or does not want to learn? By my not asking for help, am I eliminating an opportunity for someone?
Time is precious. I don’t know how long I will have to enjoy the company of my husband, family and friends. Most of us don’t know. The last year of my mom’s life I spent more time with her knowing she was dying. There were many periods that I neglected my family and friends and myself to spend time with her. I am not apologizing for that but I am sorry I found it necessary to cram a life time of her companionship into a few months.
Mother’s Day will never be the same now that she is not on this earth to celebrate it. The best gift I can give and me is to spend my “precious time” with love ones now. I will work on “asking for help” and honor my mom’s memory by using my time preciously.
Hartfelt wishes for everyone to treasure your time with family and friends.